Nothing will break your heart more than not being there when your kid is sick. Notice the period at the end of that sentence. There is no comma to add more to it, there is no exclamation point to add excitement to it, and there certainly is no question mark to question it. Physical injuries are easier to handle on this side of the world, but when it’s an emotion issue it is nearly unbearable. The very thought that a person who came from your body, doesn’t want to wake up in the morning will absolutely bring you to your knees. When a child is going through a very traumatic mental situation, they really want their mama. As a general rule, daddies just aren’t wired to be prepared to handle the emotional side of things. Some excel at it, but more times than not, they just can’t understand.

A mama wants to put their arms around their girl and let her know that she is so very loved and also to let her know that she has support even though it’s tough. Nine times out of ten, a person struggles with depression because they feel a sense of loneliness and they need someone to really hear them. They just need to know that they matter. And here we are, stuck overseas, not being able to do that for our child. Usually you would be able to go home on emergency leave to take care of your child in such a fragile state, but the father has already made medical decisions that took that child out of the hospital. So, your command thinks there is no longer an issue. The issue is still very much on the forefront of every thought of that mother.

I can’t begin to tell you how this effects the soldier. As of right now, she is no longer combat effective, nor is she able to complete some of the smallest tasks. Commanders should look at giving her a few days just to know that she is doing what is best to take care of her child. That would completely change the game. I mean… TOTAL game changer. Instead the decisions are made to keep the mother caged up and feel helpless. Guess what you have now… A suicidal child and a mentally ineffective soldier. Common sense, while not so common, is something that one would expect leadership to use when making these decisions. Instead, numbers. Boots on the ground. Day to day bologna that is now not getting 100% of that female soldiers abilities because her mind is constantly at home, and honestly, has no respect for the people who took an oath to protect her and care for her as a soldier and a member of their team. They are leaving a fallen comrade.

This mama will continue to push through every day. She will fall apart mentally because a part of her is hurting and not having her needs met. I’m not sure I could ever describe it accurately, but believe me when I say she has a hole in her heart. She goes to bed daily wondering if she will wake up to the news that her child took it to the next level and succeeded. She will be in a constant state of worry. This is not okay and this issue should be revisited.

There are no words to describe a mother’s love. My mother, while really screwed up, was a miserable woman because she knew she didn’t have whatever that core component is that makes a mama a good one.

Hug your babies tonight and let them know they are loved.

My people are the best people.