I titled this page the soldier mama but have failed to give you insight to my kids. I touched on it a little bit in the first Blog but I thought it would be appropriate to introduce them with color. I will be introducing them in order of their birth, even if I am not the one who birthed them. Bare with me because this post will be fairly long. I have 6 of them, ya know.

THE ELDEST

My first love and my quiet one. This young woman has grown into an incredibly warm hearted individual, who loves hard but guarded. She was my first but the second wasn’t far behind so she was so incredibly fast to pick up on things. This girl was walking around well before her first birthday and completely potty trained by two years old. The old saying is that they know when another is on the way so they catch on a little faster. That proved to be true with her. She has always been advanced. She began kindergarten at only four years old.

Life hasn’t always been easy for her. She was the oldest so she had to pick up the slack where I was failing, when I returned from overseas the last time. She had to be mama and big sister and she did it well. She has turned out to be an amazing mother. Not only does she raise her son but she’s also raising my youngest daughter as well. These deployments aren’t easy on any of us, but some just take them in stride. She may never know how proud of her I am, but you best believe I tell her at every chance I get.

THE SECOND

Maybe I’m the only one who’s ever wondered if you could ever love another child as much as you did the first. I doubt it, but maybe I am. Anyways, I worried about how I could give equally, and boy did I ever learn on the day that my sweet second came into this world. She was so beautiful and unlike anything I could’ve imagined. I held her so close. I couldn’t believe this angel could really be mine.

She has grown into a beautiful young lady with big dreams and I can’t wait to see where those dreams take her. God knows she has a personality that is so beautiful and lights up every room she walks in. She warms my heart because when she is sick she isn’t afraid to say that she wants her mama. That might not seem like much, but when they turn into teenagers they usually become too cool to be around mama. This girl breaks all the rules in a good way. She is stubborn, strong willed, and compassionate. Those traits combined are a force to be reckoned with. My second taught me that love isn’t divided when you have more children, it’s multiplied.

THE OLDEST 14 YEAR OLD

The oldest 14 year old isn’t one I gave birth to. She came into my life about 6 years ago and has been so special to me ever since. I grew to love her as I watched her play with my kids. She was so shy and reserved. There was a hurt in her that is very hard to comprehend. you see, she has endured pains that no child should have to endure. She didn’t have her mama there for reasons that I will not go into on this blog, but the fact is she didn’t. She loves so hard but is one of the most guarded children I have ever seen. This girl can be sweet one minute and give you the biggest “go to hell” look the next. That is, until she decides to let you in.

The third and I have a special connection that I so desperately wish we didn’t. You see, we both have to try to figure out why we weren’t enough for our birth mother. There are no words to describe what that does to a child. I’ve been dealing with it for 39 years and I still haven’t figured out, so I certainly can’t explain it to her. What I can do, however, is love her through it. I try to be a constant in her life that she can be certain will never leave her. Ever. I never married her dad, but he still allows me access to her anytime she or I want it. She calls me mama, and by golly, that’s what I am.

THE YOUNGEST 14 YEAR OLD

A German born little sweetheart. We were stationed in Germany when she came along and she has proven to have such a wonderful heart. This girl was the “baby” for a very long time and boy was she babied. She slept in the bed with me until I was about 8 months pregnant with her younger sister. It was then that she said, “Mama, I guess it’s time I start sleeping in my own bed.” She was still very young when I came home from the Middle East in 2009, and she had to grow up with a mama who was struggling to survive most days. Unfortunately, as I stated in another post, the kids were collateral damage to my depression and anxiety for years. I can recall that during one of my breakdowns, this girl laid down on me (chest to chest) and wiped away every tear she saw fall. That’s the heart of my child

This girl also has an amazing love for animals. It is something so very beautiful to watch. She really doesn’t meet an animal that she doesn’t connect with. I recall a situation where she had gotten a puppy. This puppy was toted everywhere. She begged to keep him in the house, and we were living with my daddy so I couldn’t allow her to keep him inside. She got off the bus one afternoon and we couldn’t find him. Just no clue where he might be. She and her sister were walking to the store and they happened across his body on the side of the road. The screams and cries that she was letting out while she ran back to the house sent my mommy senses into a tizzy. I was afraid my baby was hurt, and she was, but just not physically. I think she would rather lose an arm than lose an animal. So, that’s the scoop on my animal loving sweetheart.

JUST TURNED A DECADE CHILD

This precious soul happened into my life when she was only 4 years old. She never held back an emotion from me and she tells it like it is. Even if it’s hurtful, you’re gonna get the truth. She was very loving from the start but also reserved with how close she would let me get, until recently. One night, about mid-January, I was sitting at the dining room table reading, and she walked in to give me a hug like she does almost everytime she passes me. She climbed up into my lap with a sweet and almost sad smile. She said, “You know you’re my mom now right.” Obviously, I cried and hugged her tight. I then explained to her that I would never be able to replace her mama, but I would always ALWAYS be there for her. She asked if she could call me mom and I told her she could call me anything she might want to as long as she promised to call me.

Since I have been here, I have gotten so many “Hey Mom” messages. It’s like the weight of the world has been lifted off her shoulders. She feels at ease knowing she is loved and accepted for being herself. And y’all, this girl is blossoming into a wonderful preteen. She took the longest to let me in, but once she did she let me all the way in. I needed her just as much as she needed me and I’m so glad we have each other.

THE BABY

SURPRISE!! Ok, so she wasn’t planned and she sent us all into shock, but this little girl saved me in so many ways and continues to do so daily. I was afraid she would never learn to walk because she had 5 older sisters who toted her everywhere they went. She has brought us so much love and happiness. She brought 2 families together and has made us whole, and that is an incredible thing. She looks like my grandmother and acts like a mixture of all us equally. How she is feeling determines what personality you get. She can be sweet as sugar one minute and turn into a total jerk the next. I love that about her. She’s gonna be strong willed and stubborn and very sure of herself.

She is being homeschooled by my eldest daughter and she writes me letters. Those letters are so sweet and almost heartbreaking. I look forward to the day I get to teach her myself.

Well… that’s my world! 6 beautiful daughters who love me even on my bad days. It’s hard keeping up with them all, but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

My People Are The Best People