Alright so this is not the first deployment for myself and a few of my friends. We have been here before and it’s still hard for each of us. We were named the “Lady Outlaws” by one of the guys and it kinda stuck. The story behind the name… we were working during pre-mobilization at the armory one day and one of the guys said “Hello Ladies”. We(of course) smarted off saying that we weren’t ladies, we were soldiers. So the next time he saw us, he called us outlaws. He said that was more fitting anyways. And that’s when we started going by that name.
Now, let me tell you about these ladies I call my fellow “Lady Outlaws”. We are soldiers, friends, and sisters. We all have family that is separate from the military, but we hold a special bond. We have been through every valley and mountain top together for the last 10ish years. There is a bond that can’t be explained unless you’ve felt it. We’ve cried together over deaths of friends, deaths in our individual families, and divorces. The valleys. We have also cheered each other on through promotions, job offers, births, and even the mundane, just waking up and functioning for the day. The mountain tops.
I can’t and won’t try to speak for them, but I will tell you about myself and how I have needed them so much. You see, I have a memory stored in my head and heart that I can’t get out. The Doctors call it PTSD. I’ve been to therapy, talked to counselors, and taken the meds, and nothing compares to the knowledge that these gals will never leave me or judge me because of that horrible day and the thing I did.
I have lost control of myself for months at a time. Depression, anxiety, and actual physical pain. I have lost relationships, caused terrible pain for my children, and lost friends that I never thought I could lose because of this situation, but not these ladies. They are a constant. They have proven that they are true in that they never left a fallen comrade. They have continually rooted for my success in this life. I love my lady outlaws!
My People Are The Best People
The Soldier Mama 
I know from a different environment with a similar type bonding, the ER, that when NO ONE else can understand, when we are cleaning up from a pediatric code…aka battle with the death angel that we lost…your comrades can. They have you in a type of support and solidarity that your family doesn’t get, your other friends don’t get and it is INVALUABLE!! Hang onto the relationships with these outlaw ladies! I love you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The bond shared between people who share and understand your situation is so important. I don’t know what I’d do most of the time without my Lady outlaws. We aren’t constantly together, but I recently had a family situation, sent one of them a message that just said “I need you”. She responded almost immediately with “where are you”. She didn’t ask why. She didn’t say she would get with me tomorrow. She knows this is a rough time and she cared.
LikeLike
Gosh I just love you sister! You and your lady outlaws are such an inspiration to so many. I can honestly say I could NOT do what you do. I do however know how real PTSD is and how affects the individual and those around them. We just have to love them through it just as God lobes is all through our stuff. Love you BIG!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
We do what we have to do. We just have to try to find coping mechanisms to get through the days after we get home, and that usually requires each other. I love you too, and I thank you for your support!
LikeLike